Through Patient Eyes
by jennycraig10
Summary: They started off as strangers, to friends, to lovers, and back to strangers again. Unbeknownst to them, a patient of County has been watching these two since the very beginning. (Carby fic. 11)


**Through Patient Eyes**

**A Carby Fic**

**Summary:** They started off as strangers, to friends, to lovers, and back to strangers again. Unbeknownst to them, a patient of County has been watching these two since the very beginning. Watch through patient eyes as she observes the two falling in love to where they are now….

**Spoilers:** A bit of season 11. If you don't want to know about what happened with Carter, then don't read.

**Author's Note:** This little fiction of mine is dedicated to all Carbies out there who still have faith that these two will end up together. It's because of your undying devotion for these two that this story came to life. This is my first try at an ER story and Carby story, I truly hope I don't disappoint. This idea came to me for a while and frankly I was chicken to even consider writing this story. Yet, the little writing monster within pushed and so this story came to be. Also I would like to apologize for any wrong medical terms I use, though I'm sure I won't use any at all, and for anything about the Carter and Abby storyline that is wrong. I haven't watched them from the very beginning so I may be missing some things. Plus, I chose to skip some parts of the Carby history….

Oh I would also like to point out about the double meaning of Patient. It means a patient of the hospital and patient, patient. Does that make sense? Okay, maybe not, but read and maybe you will get me.

Now enough of me talking; it's time for you all to read!

**1/1**

I watched.

A daughter sitting on her father's lap, a fever taking over her. A girlfriend and boyfriend fighting over trivial things like who was supposed to have locked the door. A few nurses gossiping over little things….

I watched….

I observed….

I wondered….

* * *

He caught my attention out of all the people in the crowded little County hospital. I was just fourteen at the time, completely naïve and completely shy. I never uttered a word to anyone I wasn't close too, and that wasn't many.

He, however, was different.

He was young, brown haired, cute for a man his age. He had a boyish smile, and I guess that was what made me liked him.

I was sick when we first met. Leukemia. He was the one who discovered it.

Then I saw her, a short woman with a white coat. I overheard her mentor; someone named Greene, asking her opinion on a patient. They were standing beside another patient next to my bed, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched her answer the question. I instantly liked her….

It didn't really cross my mind that this doctor and this medical student would ever be more than strangers. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I came back to realize there was something between them.

I was waiting in the waiting area when finally I became tired of sitting. I got up, walked around a bit. Then I passed a room where I saw the boyish doctor, who no longer smiled, and the medical student. He was sitting at a desk, working on what seemed to be files or charts or whatever. She was standing behind him saying sorry about something.

He was aloof, cold to her.

"Feel better? 'Cause I have work to do." He didn't even look at her.

Feeling like I intruded on their privacy, I quickly rushed off….

And somehow, just because of that one line he said to her, I just knew…. Something would happen between the two.

* * *

I came back to the hospital a few more times. My visit after the intrusion was a month later, and when I came into the hospital I notice the presence of the doctor was missing. Then another visit later, no longer was the medical student dressed in a white coat, but a nurse uniform.

So many changes…. So unexpectantly….

My cancer had been supposedly getting better, but the good news didn't last. I had to come back to the hospital for more chemotherapy, something I hated. Back when I was in remission, I started to appreciate life a bit more, talking a bit more. But when the cancer came back, I retreated into my quietness, into the corner of my mind….

I went back to watching again…

* * *

I watched….

The doctor and, now, nurse talking more; laughing.

I watched….

The little witty comments exchanged between the two. The invitations to the little diner across the street, "Doc Magoo's" or whatever it was called.

My path didn't cross with any of them. Still, I wondered and thought about them every time I was in the hospital to retrieve my treatment. It was comforting in a way… That even though something so horrible was happening to me, something good and pure can emerge from a strong friendship that I saw forming between the two….

* * *

I watched….

The nurse laughing with the other man, a doctor with a foreign accent. I didn't particularly like him, but of course it could have been because I was already fond of the young doctor….

Still… I wondered…

I wondered if the young doctor and nurse noticed the looks and smiles they gave each other. The look that settled upon the nurse's face when she spoke to him, the look that never appeared when she was with the foreign doctor….

I wondered…

If the doctor ever noticed how he would always watched the nurse walking away from him, a smile never quite leaving his face until she was completely gone….

I wondered…

Why the doctor was so stupid to not do anything when the nurse no longer was with the other man?

I watched…

As the new blond doctor came and took him away, and all the nurse did was sit out on the sidelines….

I watched….

The pain on her face….

I watched….

The blond doctor talking to the nurse, the two getting along quite well. I noticed how the blond doctor no longer seemed intimate with _him._

And I couldn't help but watch and wonder exactly why these two weren't together yet….

* * *

My cancer had gotten worse and I was suddenly transferred to another hospital. I didn't come back to County until a few months later when I had to go with my father to fill out some paperwork.

I was a bit startled when the nurse kissed the doctor, but not surprised. I knew it would have happened sooner or later….

I watched….

The two still exchanging little funny remarks with each other….

I watched and smiled.

* * *

He was mad at her.

She was too occupied with a matter that had nothing to do with him.

He was hurt that she didn't seem to care.

She was too occupied to notice.

He loved her.

She loved him.

She didn't believe she deserved his love.

He didn't believe she loved him back.

And all of this…

Was what I saw as I watched.

* * *

I was nineteen, sitting in the waiting room as I waited for a nurse to finish some paperwork and take me to see my fiancé who had a little accident with a hammer.

I met him in college and instantly fell in love….

And when I think about our love, I can't help but think that our love was as strong as _theirs_. That the love between my fiancé and me was that of soul mates….

Just like theirs.

I was happy, completely happy and content. I felt blessed to finally have something great in my life, just like they did.

I thought about their unhappy time a while back. I wondered if that affected them. It must have, but nothing they couldn't handle. At least I thought.

I smiled to myself that day, happy for myself, happy for them.

Then I glanced up and my smile vanished as I watched the three people standing a few feet away.

It was the boyish doctor, no longer boyish looking. Hair crowded his chin and around his mouth, making him look completely different…

That wasn't what took my smile away though.

The girl by his side, the one with a slight bump for a stomach was the reason. The two of them smiled as they talked to the nurse.

I watched as they handed a paper to the nurse. The paper took the fixed, fake smile off her face….

And I knew…

Something was wrong….

And I knew….

They were no longer as lucky as I was.

* * *

My cancer was gone, a miracle really, a few months, maybe even a year, ago. When it disappeared, I became a new person. I opened up, especially to my fiancé. I was in love and grateful for that….

But just as I found out that the two soul mates were no longer soul mates, I found out my fiancé was sick.

Very sick.

He had some sort of disease, a form of cancer. The doctor with the accent tried to explain it to me, but his explanation was full of medical terms that held no meaning. All that I knew was my fiancé would die if he didn't get treated.

We came to county regularly from that day on. It was these visits that I watched the no longer soul mates deal with their life that was now separate from each other.

It was heartbreakingly to see.

But watched I did.

* * *

Something was wrong, I knew, with the doctor.

He had the most painful expression on his face, an expression that rid him of his boyish face. It replaced all of his innocent, kind self with a man full of anguish; no longer knowing his way, no longer knowing where he belonged.

It ached in my heart to see him so….

But what ached most, was that she didn't help him…. Or at least, he didn't allow her to.

I watched, despite how it pained me to….

I had to…. If I ever wanted to see the ending….

To be honest, I was hoping to seek refuge of some kind from the nurse and doctor. My whole world was falling apart as I watched as the love of my life began to weaken and wither away…

Losing him, just the thought of it, scared me….

And I could see that life wasn't well for the once young and innocent doctor as well.

His life was falling apart. I overheard some people saying he lost his son and Kem, the woman carrying his child…. I felt instantly horrible when I felt delighted that Kem no longer was with him….

He had lost a child…

And it was killing him….

But I still couldn't help but think….

_She_ could have helped him….

* * *

I watched as she went from being a medical student to a nurse to a medical student again and finally to be what it seemed she really wanted to be…. A doctor…

Her life seemed complete, happy, and full….

But something was missing…. Or someone….

The person who could fill her void of loneliness….

I couldn't help but think that it was _him_ who could do just that.

* * *

There was good news…. My fiancé was doing better, something that wasn't expected. If he continued doing well, then he would recover….

I was leaving the hospital, my fiancé still not able to leave just yet, when a thought entered my mind….

I needed my fiancé….

And _they_ needed each other.

If only, I thought that night, they would just realize that themselves.

_

* * *

_

_He_ was leaving.

This I heard and saw….

I'm twenty now, already married and expecting my first child. My husband had recovered from his illness and we had married soon after.

I heard the news of him leaving when I was downstairs, getting a soda as I waited for my appointment with the OB doctor, when I caught a conversation between two nurses. I knew I had to listen, especially since it was about _him_…. And when it was about _him_, it would have something to do with _her_.

"He's leaving tonight," a nurse said. For some reason, I just knew who him was.

"You going to the party?" The other asked.

"Can't. Weaver won't let," she said.

They talked about how Weaver was showing no mercy and I stopped listening after that. Instead, my thoughts went to the news about him leaving….

I couldn't believe it…

The doctor who years were all at County was leaving….

I didn't know how to take the news.

And I wondered how _she _had taken the news.

* * *

Something seemed wrong with me.

I was walking down the ER; about to leave the hospital when suddenly I fainted. When I woke, the blond doctor who long ago kept the doctor away from his soul mate was hovering above me.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

I nodded. "What happened?"

"You fainted," she told me. "I'm Dr. Susan Lewis. Did you eat anything today?"

I shook my head as I tried to remember. "No, I don't think so. I'm pregnant, so could that be why I fainted?"

"It might. I would like to take some tests though, but I'm sure nothing is wrong," she told me with a smile. She seemed friendly and instantly I liked her, no longer despising myself for her involvement with a relationship that existed long ago. As I slowly sat up, I surprised myself for asking, "Why is he leaving?"

Dr. Lewis looked at me with surprise. "Who?"

"That doctor," I said. "He's brown haired and-…." I suddenly realized that after all these years I had yet to know his name.

"Oh you mean Dr. John Carter?"

I nodded, though I wasn't quite sure.

"Oh he's going to Africa to be with his fiancé, Kem," she said. The news surprised me and just hearing it made me want to barf. She then asked me, "Do you know Carter?"

I shook my head, blushing a little. I wasn't about to tell her exactly how I knew him. "I come to this hospital a lot and I always see him. I heard he was leaving and I don't know…. I think it's a bit sad…." That was sort of the truth…

She smiled. "Yeah, it is. We're all going to miss him."

Suddenly the man's soul mate appeared.

"Hey Susan, can you help me take care of a patient?" She asked.

"Sure," Dr. Lewis said.

Being pregnant must give you a lot of courage or something because I suddenly said, "Hi, my name's Riley."

She smiled at me. "Abby Lockhart," she said. I repeated her name in my head.

Abby Lockhart and John Carter.

Their names seemed to go together….

I felt stupid and stalkerish for my thoughts, especially with her being here. So I smiled and decided to stay quiet. Dr. Lewis and her turned away from me and began to talk to each other quietly. I was able to pick up a bit of the conversation though.

"You going tonight?" Dr. Lewis asked.

Abby shook her head. "I don't think so. The ER is full tonight."

Dr. Lewis nodded. "But it's his last night here…."

Abby nodded. "I know…."

They didn't say anything more.

Dr. Lewis and her turned back around. Dr. Lewis then said to me that she would check up on me later and asked that Abby take my history and blood. Abby agreed.

As Abby took a seat beside me, I found myself staring at her a bit. I couldn't help it. The couple I so admired has changed so much. Now their separation would be permanent. The thought sadden me and made my heart ache.

She asked me questions and I answered them. All the while I watched her. I saw how she glanced at her watch every few minutes. I saw how she seemed a bit anxious, impatient about something….

Then just when she was about to take my blood I said to her, "You should go."

She looked surprised. "What?"

"He's leaving," I said. "You should go."

"I can't," she said. Then, looking confused, "How did you-?"

"I had cancer," I told her. "I've been here a lot." Looking down at my hands, I hesitantly told her, "I used to be so shy and scared. Usually I just sit and watch people around me, envying their lives. I saw a lot of things." I looked up at her, into her eyes. "You should go. Do not, not say goodbye."

I held her gaze and she stared back, shock, perhaps, by what I said. The latex gloves that dangled in her hands, the ones that she was about to put on, stayed where it was: still dangling in her hands. She didn't move; just looked at me. I was beginning to think she thought I was a stalker or crazy or something, but she didn't.

Slowly she closed her partly opened mouth. She lowered her hands that held the gloves. Then, almost as if a switch went on, she smiled at me.

Out of the blue, she said, "Thank you."

Without waiting for my response, she threw the gloves on a tray by the bed and called out to a nearby nurse, "Chuny, can you take her blood?" Then off she went.

I watched as she zipped out of the room, and through the window, saw her hurried down the hallway and out of my sight. I didn't really pay attention as the nurse tied a rubber band around my arm and inserted the needle and drew my blood.

I just continuing watching, though she was no longer there.

Whether or not things would happen that night… Whether or not she would declare her love for him, or him to her…. Whether or not he does go off and married that woman in Africa…. Whether or not she ended up with someone else… Or whether or not they don't see each other for a long time….

I just know….

That one-day I would watch them be together again.

They were soul mates, meant to be, and so on.

They loved each other, I can tell.

Their love, what once was, wasn't something that could just be erased within a year. Something they had doesn't go away that easily. It can be hidden, denied, whatever…. But it will always be there….

I smiled to myself as the nurse left me.

One day, I would see them again, no longer separated from each other, no longer lost or lonely….

I just need to have patient eyes to see that day.

And that day _will_ come.

**The End**

**Author's Note:** I left out characters like Wendall and a lot of others because…. Well, there's no point. I wanted to add a conversation between the two when she was with Jake and Wendall and how the patient saw it, but nah. I like how the story went, and hope you all will too. Please review for it will make me a very happy Carby!


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